2016 Favorites
Two thousand and sixteen was one of the most difficult years mentally for me. Many of you have heard me say I have been fighting depression for a few years now. This year I realized it's not really a fight. In a fight, there is a winner and a loser. This is more like a dance. We are both here, always. Sometimes it's a tango, sometimes a slam.
I gave myself the opportunity to stop thinking of myself as a landscape and nature photographer. Rather than pretend I had the energy (or desire) to drive three hours before sunrise, or spend all night out capturing stars, I began using things around me.
I expanded my palette and accessed more varied ways to express what was bouncing inside my head. I ventured deeper into abstract and surrealism. My work became darker.
After curating all of these, I realize the year was not as bad as it felt.
Even though I know I don't need to, I still want to apologize for bringing you through all of this emotional stuff. This time I can't simply share a list of pretty pictures. This year in particular, I can't separate the two.
Horse my friend.
I was driving around North Bend, after trying to make the reflection of Mt Si on Lake Borst work. It didn't - or I couldn't. I passed a few farms, and saw two beautiful horses. I immediately knew I wanted to capture them. I was concerned about standing outside of someone's fence taking photos inside their property - so I went off to ask permission. I drove around until I found a gate, and a long driveway. At the end of the driveway, a house. I rang the doorbell and only heard a bark. I walked around the house and saw two people working on a tractor near a barn. Got back in my car, and drove up to the barn, which turned out to be right next to the field where the two horses where. The two people turned out to be two ladies, one working on the tractor, the other keeping her company. As I approached them (still driving) a dog the size of the horses sprinted up to my car. Lady #2 held on to the dog - kinda. I kept my car as a shield between me in the dog. I asked for permission to photograph their horses. They looked at each other with an expression that read.. "why would anyone want to do that?". They consented, I drove back, parked on the road and spent about an hour photographing two horses. They were curious, walked right up to me.. almost like a welcome. It was a peaceful morning.
Calm Water in a Bottle.
This is a deceptively lonely photograph. I wasn't lonely this day. I was focused. I was inspired by someone else's photo and decided I wanted to figure out how to do my own version. I spent time looking and shopping for the growler. I knew exactly what I wanted. I struggled to get the lighting right - here I did not succeed - I am not entirely please with the result. However, I am very pleased with the focus I felt chasing what I saw in my mind. I should thank the photographer that inspired me - sadly, I do not remember where I saw his or her work.
Cool Wave.
This was my happiest day this year. I played almost all day. I discovered my new favorite beach and .. frolicked in it. I swam, I body-boarded, I rode waves, I snorkled. I eavesdropped on a Dad and Daughter enjoying the day in the water. I submerged just to enjoy the cool water all over me. This place is one of my happy places now. I really like this memory.
Serene Dawn.
Following my happiest day, I woke up in early in the morning - before sunrise. I watched the moon set, and I watched night become morning. I had the place to myself.
The Landscape Photographer Still in Me.
This was my second drive up to the Volcano in as many hours. The night was so covered in dense fog the first time I came up that the volcano was completely invisible. I came back to an open sky, a full moon, a crowd with iphones (and flashes!. People peeking over the display on my camera oohing and ahhing at how my photo looked so much better than the one their camera. It was painful to see. It took me several minutes to convince the young girl next to me to turn off the flash of her camera. She finally did, and soon afrer thanked me for it. The crowd that had been waiting for the fog to clear finally finished taking their selfies and eventually left. I was reunited with the landscape photographer in me. It felt awesome.
Patience
This was a crisp day. Overcast (great for a photographer). Crowds of people with selfie sticks, oblivious to people around them. I stood patiently while it rained on and off for a break in the crowds. I was rewarded with a few mins to myself just taking in the sound of the water falling and the bright green around it.
The Puzzle
I discovered what a playground lava fields are. Anny was sick with a nasty cold, and remained in the car, but insisted that I go photograph. I kept seeing lines, patterns, curves. I saw pieces fit together in my head, and searched for the pieces, like you do on a jigsaw puzzle. I later spent hours fitting the pieces I had collected. Hundreds of photos, each of them could be cropped, rotated, sorted and combined.. until I found it. I really like this photo.
Denny Creek and the Log
This morning a friend, my daughter and I went out for a *delightful* morning hike to Denny Creek. It was like having dessert for breakfast. Photographically, nothing was coming together. On the way back, we saw this small waterfall just upstream of us. I walked up to it - the falls emptied into a small pool. In the pool, a large heavy log...barely floating. I tried to move the log into the frame. My friend and daughter caught up with me and helped me push it further into the pool so I could take my photo. The current ended up jamming the log such that it ended up blocking the shot that I wanted. I had to rethink the photo and came up with this composition. By now, it was mid-morning and the lighting was really harsh. I really wanted this hike to end up with a usable photo. I ended up converting it to black and white. I like how it makes me feel solitude, but not loneliness.
Really Lonely
This is the day I've felt the loneliest. I left my house to go somewhere public and open. I drove to Alki. It was freakin' cold. I sat on a bench. I got up. I sat back down. I got up again. I started to walk. Deliberatly, I kept moving. I didn't have my camera, but I had to capture the time. I used the camera on me (my phone). This is a distorted piece of that day's gray sky.
Dorian.
Inspired by someone else's photo. One of the darkest days of the year - soon after the loneliest day ever. I don't like photographing myself. I felt like I was in the bottom of a very, very deep hole. It is a popular photo - but I consider it too ugly to see for long. Dorian.
I wish I could play
I'm a good photograper. Not "publishing" good, but decent enough. However, photography is relatively new to my life. Music is not. I am not a good musician. I wish I could play. This is consolation.
Happy Accident.
There is a lake (more like a pond) in my neighborhood, usually full of mallards and a fixed seagull. Every now and then a woody comes along. That day was one of those, and he was showing off. Went home happy :).
Accompanied.
I like crows. They are beautiful. They are everywhere around here. I seldom miss an opportunity to photograph a crow. The aren't shy. This fellow kept looking at me. I wasn't alone.
Awe
On the bow of a ferry between Vancouver and Victoria, cold wind in my face - struggling to keep the camera stable. Large sky with islands ahead, and gorgeous clouds. Awe.
Victoria and Kathryn
This was a family trip to Victoria. The type of trip that works well with my family. Near a town, with sitting-down food, museums and window shopping, sightseeing, with nature and hikes available. Easy, huh? Fisgard Lighthouse was crowded and the light was harsh. I found a place on the rocks around it with nice leading lines, and I sat down to wait. Waited for the clouds to have the right pattern, and for people to not be visible. A mom of four decided the railing on the stairs was a good place to .. be. Her family went inside, came out, and she persevered in staying in my shot. For about forty minutes. It is quite possible she was waiting to see what *I* was going to do.
Days later I had a beer with a friend. Kathryn. She asked me how my photography was doing - a polite way to ask about my relationship with depression. I shared this photo - she really liked it. I sent her a print. Thank you for caring, Kathryn :).
A Happy Find
I am lucky to have a beautiful trail that loops around a neighborhood pond, right behind my home. It works as an emergency hike in a pinch. Many times, I'll bring my camera, just in case. This day, I had my macro lens on it. This leaf was every so barely lighter (in color) than everything around it. I felt like a 5-yeard old that found a cool rock and took it home :).
A welcomed time of year
Photographing arrangements of leaves is an annual rite of mine. Like setting up Christmas lights is for other people. I get just a bit better at it every year. This rite gives me comfort.
A New Thing to Try
I've seen photos of smoke many times, and one day I woke up curious. Anny was kind enough to pickup incense while grocery shopping. My son was curious too, and he helped me position the flash, reflector, and experiment blowing air around the smoke to create patterns. I ended up with hundreds of photos - most of them unusable. But, I found three diamonds in the rough. With some heavy post processing, I came up with this. This technique feels like a new toy.
A Gift.
It hailed. I knew the Japanese maple in planted this year in the backyard still had colorful leaves. I had everything I needed - I plucked two leaves about the same size, found a patch of undisturbed hail, placed the leaves and pressed the shutter. Post processing took much longer. Balancing blue and orange, sharpening the ice, blurring the leave - looking for balance. This was sweet.
Storm Rolling In
This is vintage me. I took dozens of photos, variants of compositions using patterns in the sand of incoming waves and reflection on the wet sand. This my favorite from the study of the situation.
Christmas Day Sunrise.
The family was asleep. I was watching the sky begin to color. It was freakin' cold outside, it took a lot of guilt (of missing this shot) to get me dressed and out to shoot. I'm glad I did.
